Death looms menacingly before me
Sleeping soundly and yet it has awoken
Careening through the universe crookedly
Drifting toward me lazily, flying toward me
Out of control
And I cry out
It calls
I am not ready to answer
It summons
How can I leave now?
Twisting, turning, catapulting and screaming
Death comes
A shadow creeps across my happiness
And dismay permeates my being
Somewhere ahead there is peace
Somewhere ahead Death will let go
But I am not ready to leave
And I cry out
Death comes toward me
I wrote this in December of 2004. I am no longer afraid of death, now that I’ve completely disentangled from religion. Now that I believe that homeostasis will send my cells where they need to be when I die, and that’s enough. Now that I believe we only have this one life, blink and it’s gone. I see this poem as me yelling back into the universe, into the void, “I’ll be okay if I’m alive, and I’ll be okay if I’m dead, you fucker!” Be well. -Ali
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